There are very few days of the year where you asked to focus completely on one person in your life and nothing else. Are you making your Mother feel special this Mothers Day? What if it were the last one you could spend with her? How would you spend it then?
There is a reason for this post other than the fact that it is on Mothers Day (I have a very specific niche that is covered on this blog and I wouldn’t dilute that if it wasn’t important)…
I come from an Italian background where family historically has a very well-built bond. And I just wish I would have followed that tradition more closely over the past few years.
My Grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s about 10 years ago and was placed in a nursing home for the past 7 years. The last time I saw Her was about 5 years ago… I justified this by saying to myself “I wanted to remember Her the way she was”. Well, this past Tuesday, May 4th 2008, I answered the phone only to hear my Mother crying on the other end of the line. Apparently with Alzheimer’s one of the last things you forget, is how to eat. And that is exactly why my Mom was calling that particular day, to tell my that my Grandmother had reached that stage. When that happens, they usually don’t have much time left. And foolish me, I was still sticking with the thought of “I want to remember Her the was She was, by choosing not to see Her in the nursing home”. Last night at 9:41 PM I received a message that my Grandmother had passed away. At that instant my theory of “wanting to remember Her the way she was” was completely erased from my mind and replaced with “why didn’t you go see go see Her you FOOL!” She spent so much time with me when I was a child and really made everyone feel special. And I keep thinking that I repaid her, by abandoning her when she needed family the most.
I can’t change the past, but I sure can change what I do from this point forward and so can you! I usually don’t share this type of personal information to the general public, but I hope this post will inspire you (if not currently doing) to do something a little extra this Mothers Day. And don’t procrastinate… It will only lead to personal heartache in later years. Make this Mothers Day a day to remember for the woman that brought you into this world.
* This post is in memory and dedicated to my late Grandmother.
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May 11, 2008 at 11:11 am
Tina
First, I want to say that I’m sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
You know, Adam, many people feel the same way that you did. My mom worked at an assisted living facility. Most of the people there had Alzheimer’s. Many of them did not have family that would come to see them. Luckily, the company was OK with family of the worker’s coming to visit. I wouldn’t go a lot, but enough that the people enjoyed having us (me and my son) there. My mom would show them pictures of my son quite a bit so most of them would remember him. Words cannot explain how their faces would glow when I would walk through the front door with my son. They enjoyed having him there so much. For some, it was just having the company and the joy of a child and for others….well, they thought he was one of their children or a brother (since those seem to be the only memories that most of them have). Either way, I thought it was a great thing to do for them. It was very sad when they would pass on and hard to explain to a young child (at the time my son was 4-6 years old). But, we have pictures of him with some of the people and every now and then he looks at them. Even though he doesn’t remember going there too much, he still thinks it was a good and nice thing to do. I think that is what was most important about doing that with him. He realizes the importance of doing for others that may not have anybody else to help them. He is a wonderful young man now (11 yrs. old)!